And I was going prepared. I wasn't going to be one of THOSE mom's. I had the diaper bag out. I look inside:
Changing Mat. Check.
Bottle with milk. Check.
Pacifier with neat attachment thingy so it is easy to find. Check.
Rash Ointment. Check.
Burp cloth. Check.
Extra outfit. Check.
Then I bring:
Blankie for car seat to keep her from getting too cold. Check.
Cute dangly toys for car seat/stroller to keep her happy. Check.
It's all there. I'm super confident, so, out we went. Oh I was feeling great about getting out. But, uneasy because I hadn't taken Dear Bebe out to the mall yet. I'd waited for several reasons.
1) The doctor said to wait at least two months before going to the mall. He must REALLY think this place is a germ pit.
2) By the time she was old enough it was Christmas shopping season and even I don't go to the mall then.
3)By the time Christmas was over, I was sick.
We were doing so well for awhile. I'm looking at clearance racks for clothes to fit a 6-9 month old and Dear Bebe falls asleep. Wonderful! Then a 2 year old in a stroller gets closer and closer to our location and I can hear her because she is shouting every word she speaks. SHOUTING! Finally I had to move away from the rack just as I was hitting the mother lode because she woke up Dear Bebe. Ut oh. First comes the pout...then she starts crying. Sigh. Pacifier to the rescue. We're okay again!
We make it to another store, when my biggest mistake of the day is about to happen. The pacifier falls, face down, onto the dirty department store floor. We just make it to the check out and Dear Bebe starts screaming. Of course! Now the clerk behind the counter starts fidgeting. I'm bailing on cute clothes I've picked out for Dear Bebe right and left because I can't think straight. The woman behind me in designer high heeled boots with designer jeans stuffed into them (who wears high heel boots to the mall?) takes off in a huff, clutching her designer duvet cover to her hip. Obviously she hasn't done this before. Or maybe she has!
I look around. I feel like everyone is staring and thinking: "...they should call child protective services on that woman."
I look back to the clerk and stutter "the pacifier fell on the floor! I....I .... didn't want to put THAT in her mouth!" I get a blank stare in return. Clearly a baby crying is a no no in the peace and quiet of her retail work day.
Another woman comes up with a concerned look on her face, looks down and says "She's probably too hot with all of that stuff in there." I look down at the stroller and start pulling away at the blanket covering Dear Bebe's legs. Well, it was warm in there. Another says "She's probably hungy." I pull out the bottle I had already tried feeding her with a half hour earlier to no avail. Dear Bebe is way too upset to eat.
Again, I open my mouth and try to appease them with "this is my first mall attempt." Like this is going to change the situation.
Meanwhile the clerk is patiently waiting for me to swipe my credit card so she can be rid of me and my screaming baby.
Another woman tries to offer me advice: "It does get better!"
I look back to the clerk and she is handing me my package and says in her most sheepish, sympathetic,sing songy have a good day kind of voice: "You did save 97.00!" Like looking like a psycho mom was worth it.
As I walk away I'm wondering how the heck I saved 97.00 when I only bought a handful of baby clothing from the clearance rack. The markup on these little outfits is incredible.
I turn the stroller around looking for the nearest exit while wondering why I ever thought this was a good idea when I realize only 4 people think I am a pathetic mom. Oh, and the duvet cover woman. That's not too bad.
Could have been worse.
Note to self.... always bring a back up binky.